Just Fine

There came a time in my life when the stream of thought that my consciousness offered my animal was constantly negative. This lead to fear, anger, self-loathing and all kinds of negative emotions. After a lengthy time of thinking that way, my sleep began to be effected and I would wake up screaming in the middle of the night. It got so bad that I couldn't go to work and was often found hiding in the back of my bedroom closet. I ended up on some anti-anxiety, anti-psychotic and sleep inducing medications.

That was a couple years ago and I am now off of all of those medications except for the smallest dose possible of the anti-anxiety medication, effexor xr. I'm not near as prone to negative thoughts any more, although I occasionally go overboard in attempts to keep the negative thoughts of others from effecting me. (this brings their negative thoughts closer into focus and ends up being counter productive for me)

This manifests as constantly avoiding a co-worker who has nothing but negative comments regarding even the most mundane aspects of the news. However, even that avoidance is a negative thought or vibrational grouping of thoughts (self ilicited fear of what one might do or say regarding the negative individual).

Over time, I'm finding that avoidance isn't the answer. Direct confrontation is not the answer either as you constantly feel you are defending your position (your position being one that you should be able to be at peace with).

I'm finding that the only solution to keep one's own sanity is to listen, or at least pretend to listen and give this one obligitory answer... "Just Fine."